Now that it’s over,, I can talk about it
No, am not talking about my MSP experience, am talking about the stage before that..
Honestly, I hesitated talking in public about personal stuff – because I didn’t want to talk about the events and sessions we made, I loose respect for people who call themselves community people then brag about doing stuff for names and titles –
I also believe that a real life story could really help others more than numbers and facts, and my intentions are to help
So here comes the drama queen :
I had a harsh experience that left me unconfident and insecure, something about not being good enough for anything, I stopped trusting my judgment on anything and I stopped enjoying anything.
To be honest, I was in a stage where I really hated being me, and as some says, I always feel like I don’t deserve good things or am not good enough for making good things either, I reached a point I thought about dropping college !.
When I was told that I was elected as an MSP, I wasn’t excited, I wasn’t excited about anything in my life back then, to be more honest, some other students really wanted it and made my life in college a living hell for that. So I went to my head department to drop that position, and that was where it all started, he laughed saying: “you are perfect for this position while they are not, you are a good speaker a good communicator and full of passion for work”, I didn’t care about all that or believe it, but had one goal back then, not to disappoint my head department who thought good things about me and trusted me for representing my University.
My biggest change was meeting the rest of the community members, watching their passion and big goals, every single unique personality, how hard they work, having purpose in life and enjoying it, was really inspiring to me, the fact that being good means working hard on one thing, doesn’t mean being perfect in it, and it will mean sucking in other things too .
I loved the fact that there are people in my life that are actually ready to help anytime, that I can count on without anything in return, I met people with same interests that I can talk with them on and on without stopping for hours, they taught me how to stop living in a shell and really live my life, how to count what achievements I made at the end of every day, how to be initiative in meeting more and more people that are the same.
I felt like I really need to work hard on myself, boundaries about nationality, gender and all other reasons why we say we can’t are actually in our head, when you start listing boundaries before listing goals, you should know that you are going the wrong way. Once you set your goals, boundaries will seem smaller.
One more thing I would love to talk about, unleash your creativity, for me it was all about stop thinking what people think of me. I reached a stage dreaming of people saying that am stupid behind me back. And it actually effected my relationship with them.
Now that it’s over, I can talk about it yes, am clumsy and I am dropper (seriously I drop things even while am setting down !) I lose focus a lot –working on that – and sometimes I make really really stupid mistakes, but; no one knows you better than you, so why letting someone who doesn’t know all the facts to judge you. and I do believe now that real success is all about never quitting.
Trust me. Stop thinking what people think about you means doing everything your way, means having your special touch on stuff you do, means your personality is unique that you don’t even care that people judge based on theirs.
One last word: the other day I read this quote that enlightened me: “if you don’t enjoy hanging out with yourself how do you expect others to!”.
Too much personal info for someone who doesn’t talk about their personal life being an MSP to me was all about finding myself and trusting it again. Hope you don’t need such an experience to do that
sorry for saying “I” too much